Self

Wishing you could go back?

I’m sure that everyone at some point or another had wished they could go back. Start over, or just go back to when things were simpler or before disaster happened, or before they had so many responsibilities. This may be a little heavy for a Friday, especially on a long weekend, but this has been something that is on my heart this week. Not just the simple “oh my word, did I just say that? Can I start over or can the floor open up and swallow me, either option will suffice”, but wow, things are a little hectic, or I don’t have a clear plan, or shiz hit the fan. That kind of deeper overwhelming sense of can I just go back to being a kid?

Specifically I am speaking about when you are embarking on an adventure, and the going is getting a little tough, a multitude of things are coming your way and you still have unanswered questions, and the way ahead is a little dimmer than you would like, I mean who doesn’t want to see miles ahead sometimes? This has been me this last while. I want to curl up with a blanky and get stuck in the wonderful stories in the latest books I am reading or watch series all day and night and eat yummy comforting things in that dream world where you don’t gain weight from doing these things. I just want to put things on the back burner for a while until I can gently catch up with time that seems to be moving forward at a crazy rate.

Sitting in church the other day, the sermon was based on the story where God had sent the Isrealites to go scout the promised land and the majority had come back with the reports that they can’t go. There were enemies bigger and stronger than them, and although the land was plentiful and much better than the desert they were currently in, it was a bad idea to go and conquer the enemy and enter the promised land. Whether or not you are Christian, I am sure you can understand the story, and my point. Here these Isrealites were in the desert, a pretty bad place to be, and were to scared to go into a lush land filled with flowing water and fruit and the ability to sustain livestock and nice grass where their kids could play, etc, because they were afraid of the obstacles in their way.

We all have hopes and dreams of a life and a situation better than the one we may be in. That thing that will bring us happiness. That new job, or meeting that special someone, that raise so that you can provide a better life for your kids, or perhaps its taking that vacation or getting that dream car, or just a car that doesn’t break down all the time! Some of these things are superficial, some of these things are deeper things. I can go into the simple truth that we need to first be happy with what we have else nothing will ever make us truly happy because true joy doesn’t come from things, but we can leave that for another day. Carrying on with the theme from my previous post, I will ask once again, how badly do you want it? Is it better to stay where you are and that is familiar even if its terrible, rather than seeing what else is out there?

Will you live in fear of carrying on, of having to make it past the obstacles in your way, afraid that you may fail or that you struggle in vain? Or will you live a life of faith. We all need to take a break sometimes so that we don’t burn out, and so that we gain some perspective. But when that little break starts to look like giving up, we need to make the decision whether to live a life of fear (or laziness :p), or whether to live a life of faith. If you truly want something badly enough, you will get up again, and you will work hard, knowing that even though what you know provides comfort, the way forward is filled with new possibilities. It may not be easy, but that is just the way life is. I like the saying: “Train insane or remain the same”. It can be applied to every area of our lives. What will you decide?

 

 

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